Not the brightest bulb sometimes

Bless Me Father, for I am ultra slow to learn and quite dense in huge head. Thank goodness that is not an actual sin, because I have enough to worry about. That being said, some people understand things the first time they hear it, and others need blinky flashy lights and a kick in the pants to pay attention. I am the latter far too often. 

Take for example a litttle instance I had the past two days. For work, I went to a training on avoiding compassion fatigue, it goes with my nature of work. Whilest at said training with my fellow home visitnig doulas, we discussed how to be happier and how to take care of one self. The presenter is a seminarian in Native American religous studies. Yep, I go to hippie training. Regularly. With hippies, seriously, long skirts, dreads, barefooted, vegan, birth godesses. I take most of these trainings with a grain of salt, and a glass of wine when I get home. This time, was different. I am just weeks away from serious burn-out, so I tried to listen. And, blinky lights were going off all around me.

Why? What did hippie birthy speaker do? She told us to be thankful, to examine our day each evening, heck, she even said use the examen, to live a plan of life, to offer our day, to confide in one person who can hold you accountable, to be still and listen to the higher power, and to praise him (she might have said her, hippie, remember). It all sounded so familiar to my Catholic ears, and to my Catholic soul. It should, I've been hearing it for years at days of recollection, in books, from priests in the confessional and from good holy women. And I lived it, well, for many years. Not of late though. 

I thought that I could simplify, I could do the bare minimum, that it was too strict for my hippie doula self. And, like many things, I was wrong. But, I did not realize I was wrong until this workshop. I realized how much I need my plan of life, my examen, my director, etc. Heck, I need it more now that I am in a compassion based field. But, it never crossed my mind I needed it to be happy. I needed hippie barefoot lady to remind me of the treaure I hold in these things. 

So, I am not the brightest bulb sometimes, but, the one thing she did not address was the need for forgiveness when we fail, and the ability to begin again. So, the confessional and I have a date, as does my delibrate efforts to order my life and prayer. And then, the happiness and peace will return.