Eagerly Waiting Easter Morn

Sure, we all are, right? It is not just because our family give up meat, and we all really want meat, like really want meat right now. Nope, that is not it. But, that is a part of it.

When Lent started, it was winter in Chicago. There was in insane amount of snow on the ground, and it was cold, really cold. The skies were grey and people were miserable. It all seemed appropriate for Lent. But, now, it is warm, it is green, is is lovely. But, our hearts and souls are still in winter, we are cold and frozen. That is how Lent feels, like a long cold winter. We still say the Angelus all through Lent, which harkens back to winter, to the Nativity.

I crave the warmth of Easter. I ling for the Regina Coeli. I caught myself singing it for prayer the other day, and it literally hurt to stop. "O, Queen Of Heaven, Be Joyful". Be Joyful. Yes, Lent is a time of reserved joy, but it is also a time of self-examination, and that, at least for me, is not joyful. I do not like what I find, I find a perpetually witntery heart. I find coldness, and darkness. But, I rid it through penance, did I mention I really want a steak? I rid it through sacrifice and confession. But, the season asks me to wait, to hold back, to savor the last moments of self-reflection and to find those last things that I need to remove, before I can truly feel the joy of Easter.

I see hints of flowers outside, but the sky is still grey, just as there is a hint of brightness in my soul, but still there is more room for light.