I like to think I'm pretty hopeful in general. I've evolved from a dark pessimistic teen and young adult to what I am today, cynical at times, but in general hopeful. At times it is hard, like right now.
I've been really hoping for something, I can't give details, but that don't matter that much anyway, it is a good think, at least I think it is, and I keep getting no for an answer. It is one of those things that other people are telling me I should do, and I agree, and yet, no. No hurts, it is painful, it is frustrating, it is maddening, yet, I have no choice in the matter but to accept, hopefully with joy, the no God is giving me.
My kids hate me saying no, and I am just about as thrilled as they are to hear it, but I know as a parent, I say it for their good, and God, my loving Father is doing the same for me. I can stomp my feet, like my 5 year old would, but that won't really help. I can cry and complain, but again, what good is that? Or, I can say "Thank you for knowing what is good for me right now" and accept His will. Option 3 sounds the best, even if it hurts. Or better still, I can take option 3, and offer that hurt for a soul in purgatory, who had the same hurt in life, and in return beg their prayers for me.
2 comments:
I will keep you in my prayers Deb...I too am getting a different response from the Lord than the one I would prefer!
Oh, Carla, you are in my prayers as well. It is funny how after a few days things seems so much clearer.
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