The Simple Joys of a Movie

After years of waiting, my sons and I finally saw Monsters University. A movie usually is not a big deal, we see them sometimes. But for my eldest son and I, Monsters, Inc. is a moment in time, it is something we have shared, it has much deeper meaning.

When my son was 18 months old, we were shopping, I was wearing high heels, and carrying him and fell off a curb. I dropped my baby. It was the worst day of my life. He suffered severe head trauma. We knew it was bad, but when we got to the ER and they transferred us to the nearest trauma center, we knew how bad it was. My little guy has always been special to me. He was my first and only 100% natural birth, he bonded with me in a different way, he made me feel alive, until I was hit with postpartum depression. Then, he was the only thing that kept me going, my love for him, my desire to provide life giving milk for him, and his cute fat little face. It passed, but at the end, he was there, smiling, not knowing how he saved me.Now, he was lying helpless in a trauma unit crib and there was nothing I could do to help him.

After many hours of tests, crying and worry, he was to be observed for 48 hours. I was in shock, my baby was not allowed to be held, to be nursed, to be mine. Worst of all, I was reported to DCFS for inflicting a head wound on my child. As if I would EVER hurt this precious baby I adored, but that is exactly what I was accused of. Thankfully, that was resolved, but, it haunts me to this day, for my work I frequently have to have DCFS background checks, and it is on my record. I have to explain to future employers the circumstances of that day. It hurts every time, I usually tear up explaining.

 My baby went home 72 hours after the start of our horror, with the restriction that he needed to sit in the dark and not move. Did mention he was an 18 month old boy?? And a super active on at that. We needed to keep him as unstimulated as possible.I sent my daughter off to family for a week, and bought the only movie we had not seen yet, Monsters, Inc. We spent the week watching it over and over and over. I loved it, it made me cry, like all Pixar films. Even better, it kept the toddler happy and quiet and nestled on my lap.

Now, unlike most movies that we watch ad nauseum, Monsters, Inc.endured. And as that son grew, into a snuggly boy, he would always suggest that movie as his first pick when asked what we should watch. It almost became a joke how often he would suggest it. For some reason, I always let him watch it, and we always snuggled on the sofa. His siblings hate that he always wins that movie, but, for us, it is special, and we still love it. His laugh is so light, so full of life and joy, I secretly let him watch it to hear that melodious sound.

That boy is now a terribly awkward 12 year old. He is lanky, really lanky, he is smart, he is OCD, he is sweet, tender and still likes to cuddle. He still has the best laugh. We have been talking about the sequel since we heard about it. We planned a date, he and I , and we let his brother join us to keep the peace at home.Finally, the day arrives, and I did not have hopes for it being good, but, without giving away anything, it is what he needed right now and frankly, a wonderful movie. It is about a guy who has hopes, but they are unrealistic, it is about making real friends, it is about the underdog coming out on top through hard work. That is my boy. He is so amazingly smart, but he has to work, he gets picked on my his peers, he is never picked first for things, but he has the sweetest heart and an unrealistic hope. It is a beautiful thing. I can't quite explain why Sully and Mike have stuck with us, but like the wounds of that day, they have. I am so thankful..

More tales from the X-Files

It's been a while since I've mentioned my youngest Xavier, but he needs mentioning again. My nearly 5 year old started school yesterday. Home school, of course, but it's still school. This has given more fodder for the blog than months of thinking ever could.

Case in point, before the day even began, he was whining, "Why did you make me join this school, now I have to wear pants?" We have a school rule regarding coming to the table with clothes on, he hates this rule. Xai hates pants, he has a rule against them I was informed.

We began phonics, covering the /f/ sound. I asked him if he could think of a few /f/ sound words. Here's how that turned out "um, fffish, um, fffootball, fffork, fffan, and ffffpuppy" "Um, Xai, Puppy doesn't begin with /f/" "Well, (with hands on his hips and eyes rolling) I SAID FFFFPUPPY!! THAT BEGINS WITH FFFFF!!!"

Today was just as entertaining, I was administering placement tests to the older kids, and was asked for a sentence to go with the word after. Xai chimed in, "I've got one, After you drink too much, you pass out" Great, which college kid taught him that, because it certainly wasn't his parents, I must talk to his best friend's 22 year old sister!

His sister tried to teach him math, but after calling her "queen bossy boots" she gave the job up.

I can only imagine how quickly his little behind would be in the principal's office if he wasn't homeschooled. As it is the principal gets 3-4 text messages a day with the antics of an insane 4 year old.

Double speak?

I think I'm preaching to the Choir a bit, we all know kids are gifts, right? But I am getting tired of being told my MY CHURCH kids are not welcome. You know, the looks when they make noise, the "oh, sorry, adults only" message at devotions, I can tolerate these, but today, I am mad. I was told that I could not bring my kids with me to a meeting. Now I know that kids do not belong everywhere, trust me, I leave them home ALL THE TIME. This was different, it was a 45 minute meeting and my boys brought entertainment, they actually behaved, too. I had not choice either. Well, that was two weeks ago, today my boys, were accused of defacing the church. They were the only kids who coudl have possible doen it, no other children are ever in the room. Normally, to quote Bill Crosby, there would be beatings. This time, though, I really doubt they were to blame. I was with them, watching them, and they were not being trouble, I find it hard to believe they scuffed the walls. Now before you say, sure lady, not YOUR kids, hear me out. I am the first to blame them for any mess within 100 feet. But this time, I cannot see who they could have, they just didn't have the time or opportunity. 

The bigger problem is one I've felt for years, you have to chose to be a parent or to be involved in church. From my early teens I wondered why young adults were not involved in parishes. Now I know, once you have kids, the welcome sign disappears. The irony is that this ministry is to help women in crisis pregnancies, a Pro-life ministry, yet the double message, no children welcome. Being a good faithful law abiding Catholic woman means that sometimes, YOU HAVE KIDS. When will our culture wake up and realize that? There has to be a way to be both involved in a church and a parent. Thanks for listening to my rant. Next week, Cry rooms and the Culture of Death!

What to do with a wild four year old?

Lately my dear sweet youngest has become a royal pain in the neck. We are talking beyond the normal antics of a four year old boy. I have another son, and I've seen nonsense before, this is far beyond that. My husband is one of seven, four of which were boys, and even he is done with the insanity. 

So far the suggestion I've received from well meaning people include: 

• Drug him, thanks but no thanks, that doesn't seem like a real solution to me.
• Spank him, again, not an option, we have on occasion tired to spank, and the darn kid laughs, so no need keep that up.
• Take his toys away, well, good idea, but we already did, he can play with anything, not just toys.
• Run him more, great idea, but we have no yard and it's like 20 degrees out.
• Stop giving him sugar, already did that, but he keeps finding all of my hiding spots, and has resorted to my sugar dish.

So far the only advice that seems to have any effect is the advice from my confessor, give up on natural means and go for the supernatural, beg his angel, St. Monica, and anyone else in heaven who will listen. Done. No great results yet, but at least there is hope. 

Pray for me, that I do not resort to my parent's childhood threat to me, and sell him to the gypsies. The joy of Polish parents.

Tales from the X-files

Some readers may remember the Kasia's, my little X's imaginary, well, civilization. I've written about them before. The Kasia's are still living in our home, that is when they are not back at Chocolate Island on Mars, their native land.

Typical day around here involves at least 5 Kasia stories, like moms says, " Hey, Xai, Where are your shoes," hoping to get an answer like, under the couch, but instead gets, " Mom! Here's what happened. The Kasia's got mad and they took them to the back bathroom, and shoved them in the shower drain, they went down into the sewer and are gone forever." He says this in all seriousness and without even hesitating for a millisecond. Old sibling then chimes in, "Why does everything have to involve the Kasia's, I put the shoes away."

Well, the Kasia's have spread, now my Choir Director/Youth Minister asks about them, and she told our saint of a parish secretary about them, who jokingly said she would invoke the Kasia's next time Father walks into her office looking for something. Nice. No wonder Father has been looking at me funny for a few weeks now. He things my son needs an exorcism.

The Kasias are not just for trouble, though. Tuesday was Youngup's birthday, he is a Kasia that has been given a name, not sure why, but Youngup it is. I was coerced into baking a cake, not that me baking takes much coercion. It came time to serve the cake, and I asked if Youngup was here, I still cannot see them, only the mess they make. I was informed Youngup had to go and take some Kasias to Afghanistan to take care of Tony, my brother-in-law, who had just deployed there. Tony's kids are in a bad state, to the point that they youngest does not want to turn 4 without his dad. But no need to worry, the Kasias are taking care of him.

"When we step into the family, by the act of being born, we do step into a world which is incalculable, into a world which has its own strange laws, into a world which could do without us, into a world we have not made. In other words, when we step into the family we step into a fairy-tale." Chesterton -Heretics, CW, I, p.143

Squeaky Clean

My son made his First confession this morning. Despite being nervous, and having a 4 year old brother who would not behave, he did great. I love being a mom just for moments like this. He came out, all smiles, and announced, "My  soul was so clean I could jump super high." He then announced he needed a shower, so his body was as clean as his soul. After a shower, he asked for the first time in months, if his siblings would play the "Jesus Game" with him. This game is where the 3 act act out different scenes from the Life of Christ. A little sacramental grace goes a long way, my boy is squeaky clean once more!

My Faith and the Three year old

I had a profound religious experience today. Cheesy as it may sound, it was one of those, Oh, I Get It moments. Our parish was all smells and bells, as it should be, for the feast of Corpus Christi. My kids were being good, as they waited for mass to begin, so I was able to to read the Magnificat meditation of the day. I came across a passage concerning St. Loenidas and his son St. Origen. It said that according to Eusebius, Leonidas used to kneel by the bedside of the sleeping Origen and deoutly and reverently kiss his son's breast as the Tabernacle wherein God dwelt. The child in his innocence and grace is the fittest home on Earth for God. The fact that I was sitting with my three beautiful children, in front of the Blessed Sacrament may have helped, but I was moved very deeply.

Fast forward about 5 minutes, Mass has begun, and Father is using the incense. My three year old had been quiet too long, and begins asking questions, what is that (It's incense, like in your little Mass kit), why is Father swinging it (he is blessing everything). Then I asked What does it smell like to you? And he gave me the most unexpected answer, Like my prayers are being carried to God. Yes, this is not a smell, but Gosh, this is the indwelling of the spirit, in my child. That pure innocence, that total unitedness with God. He is three, but his answer echos the psalms, which I'm not sure he would recognize. Throughout the rest of the mass, one thing after another made me realize, the meaning of being childlike.

I was never childlike, even as a child, and I have understood divine filiation on a very intellectual level, but, this moment, and moments like this, have opened my eyes to so much. I now wonder how I could ever grow in faith, without my kids. God has shown me Himself, though them. So many things my three year old has said, I do not remember telling him or teaching him, it is the naturalness that comes from innocence and grace.

They are my path to heaven, not just from the vocation to motherhood being my work, but through the many lessons I will learn from them. Rest assured, the three year old still had to be hauled out of the church in trouble at least once, for being, well, three, but that too is my path to heaven.

The reading gap

Livescience has an article about the gap in reading ability between boys and girls in schools. Very interesting. The most fascinating part of the article in at the bottom.


"Here's a fascinating fact," she said. "There is no literacy gap in home-schooled boys and girls."
"Why? In school, teachers emphasize reading literature and talking about character and feelings," she said. "This way of teaching reading does not turn boys on. Boys prefer reading nonfiction, such as history and adventure books. When they are taught at home, parents are more likely to let them follow their interests"


Fascinating indeed, letting our kids read what they are interested in, to encourage them to read. Home schooled kids are not immune from the gap, though in my opinion. My 7 year old is a bit "behind" in reading, so he is just learning how to read. ( I'm not concerned, if you cannot tell). I recently took him to the local bookshop to get some early readers, seeing the princess early readers his sister had were not to his liking. I would have to say 75% of the books in the early readers section were geared toward girls. No wonder boys do not read as much as girls, they do not have the selection of books to read. In addition to the lack of books for boys, many of the ones that were not girly, were twaddle. My son asked me how many times he would have to read a book about a cat on a mat or a lad with a cap. Point taken, he wants substance. Lucky boy, Mom found a new series of early readers based on the classics. We picked up The Treasure Map based on a chapter of Treasure Island. It is not dumbed down, just written in simplified language. My son loves it, we have four books to complete, and we move on to Tom Sawyer. I hope good literature will put him on the road to be a good reader, especially one who wants to continue to read good books.

What are you getting your kids for Christmas?

'Cause I need suggestions for a 6 1/2 year old boy. Seriously, I'm stumped. He is not really into anything I want to encourage (ie he likes video games). He likes nature, but I got him a boat load to exploring type toys last year. This year we are only giving 3 gifts per kid, 1 big 2 small ( Jesus only got three gifts, why do we need more?) The only thing he has asked for is a violin, which is probably not in the budget this year. I asked my brothers, and they replied "Guns?", that's not happening, either. AND to top it off, we are trying to avoid Chinese made toys, I have spent more money sending back toys this year than on new ones!

My kids are getting several "group" toys from Santa, like playsilks, a nice chess set and a new copy of Monsters, inc. to replace the one destroyed accidentally. I usually throw a few books into their stockings, we try not to go overboard, but usually end up doing so. It seems this year they already have everything worth having! We are getting rid of a bunch of toys before Christmas (FREE DUPLOS, anyone?). I want to give them nice, budget friendly items, that are useful, and moderately educational, do these toys exist?

Brothers on Bikes

I take full blame for this picture, this is my dear friend, Br, Maximilian, CFR. The Godfather to my middle child. He is riding the "vow of celibacy bike" as he calls it, one seater, no room for anyone but God to ride along. For the mothers in the crowd, he put his helmet on before he actually started riding away, he was just posing here.

Friday Book!

I've decided to review or just talk about a favorite book each week. This week I happily present: The Dangerous Book For Boys. This has very quickly become a favorite with my boys. I love this book, I love how it encourages my sons to think, to be creative and to get dirty.

I have long been concerned about the feminization of boys through our culture. Think about it, most educators are female and boys are not allowed to, well, be boys. There is a lack of appreciation for the wildness that should be a young boy. Does this mean they are uncivilized, no, quite the contrary. The book not only shows how to make a bow and arrow, it give grammar lessons. It represents the balance boys need.

I love the fact that is tells the stories of explorers, and the seven wonders of the ancient world. I hope that is fuels the desire to explore the world around them for many boys, not just the world that is given in the X-box. It fuels the imagination with tales of adventure and gives the tools to have adventures of their own.

The book is beautifully bound in red cloth with gold writing, it looks like something special, something old, something to be treasured. It has already found a special home with Pooh Bear, Peter Rabbit and Thomas the Train on our "special" book shelf.