Through the Storm, Through the Night.

As previously mentioned, there have been trials of late, and by of late I mean the last 3 years. There is nothing that we have not made it through, but emotionally and psychologically, the damage lingers. My sense of hope has ben diminished. I used to be far more optimistic than I am, not, reality surrounds me, and I do not get my hopes up much for anything.

Take for example job interviews. My husband has been out of work almost 3 years, 3 long hard years, unemployment ran out a long, long time ago. When this situation was new, I got excited with every interview, hopeful that this would be the one that would change our situation, to allow us to plan to the future again, rather than just get through the week. But, interview after interview I was let down. Even the few that have lead to job offers are horrifically disappointing. No one hires for full time, they job is irregular, the pay is insulting, or the work is degrading. I have no hope that we will ever not be poor. But, Deb, you say, you have a roof over your head, and food on your table and your daughter still dances. This is true, I can't figure out how we do, but it is true. On paper, none of these seem possible, yet they happen. And I am thankful for these. But, one cannot rely on miracles to pay the bills. 

God has provided, true, and all my hope is in Him, but even that is a mental struggle. He has given honest work for me, but it is hard work, with strange hours and unpredictability. Please do not think I am asking for easy street. All I desire is a return to hope, to peace, and to stability. I desire hope above all things. 

My daughter is dancing to "Precious Lord, Take My Hand" so it is played very often in our home. It has always been a favorite song, but the story behind it was something I learned just a few years ago as I sang a Mass for the loss of a baby. Read it here .The song gives me hope, it reminds me even in my weary days, to persevere on this long journey. Here is the version the daughter is dancing to, my personal favorite.