This idea has been on my mind for a few days. I live in a large community, attend a large parish, am involved in many activities but, struggle with loneliness. I have a best friend, we text throughout the day, we see each other once a week, usually, we are both introverted extroverts. But, I feel so horribly alone. My husband works nights in a job he hates, and is not much of a conversationalist, plus with the limited time we see each other, we stick to the most important facts of the household. My daughter is 17, and I do consider her a friend, but, she is leaving for school in the fall, and will be 5 hours way, again limiting us to texts and facetime.
How is such a feeling so possible in today's very connected world. I think it is more possible than ever. True, genuine interactions are so limited. If I did not have my once a week with K, I would lose my stuff. I feel out of place everywhere, but upon reflection, I think that is my pride. We live in a affluent suburbs, but do not live the comfortable life of many in our community. That isolates me. I need to put on the act that we do belong here, and shut people out. They cannot see my real life, the tears over bills unpaid, the worries that a job will be cut, the silence over the fact that my husband hates his job with his whole being, but has few options anymore.
Conversations stick to the surface, kids activities, my job college plans. No deep discussions of theology or art, or politics, no dreaming with friends about growing old, just coffee, wine and weather. The days are long and lonely. The parents of kids friend's are usually older, at a different stage of life, where I still secretly hope for another baby, they are seeing grandchildren start to come.
I have no solutions, I just long for more adventures with someone dear to my heart.
